Have to get this out.

Don't know if I ever told you guys, but they hoard plants too. Like, flowering plants. . during the winter they keep em all in the basement and they get all brown and ugly and I have to water them, then in the summer they grow back. The basement is the worst part of the house, and I just had to go down there to water them cause I was getting screamed at cause I've been working on my project all weekend and not doing anything else. Down there, it literally looks like a tornado went through. . . there are tons of cabinets and tables at the bottom, then just a bunch of chairs upside down or sideways, thrown on top of everything else. You don't even know. . . it's scary. If you just walked through it once you wouldn't care . . . neither would I if I were you. But living here all your life. . it does stuff to you. I feel like a mental case right now. . . I'm not scared. . . . I'm just so, so hurt and it looks so hopeless and broken and so twisted. It's kinda like a horror movie only in real life. You know, someone moves into an old house and there are hidden places that they find and weird things start to happen and then whatever's there ends up killing them? That's what I feel like. This house has so many secrets. . so many dark places. . . it smells like mold and the air almost feels heavy. She's been cryin and screaming last night and today. . she screamed prolly three times today, really bad. I want to be in someone's arms right now. . . I really don't care whose. . . just a good person. A mom, or a girl. So many flashbacks. . .

Okay. Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to finish my project. Then I'm going to reward myself by going over my neighbor's house and watching TV and eating chips and emptying her fridge :). Then I'm going to inbox some of my friends that live around here, and go over their houses this week. Then I'm gradually going to start going over more and more peoples' houses, and stay the heck out of here. Then I'm going to start going to the mall with my friends. I'm going to open a bank account and save whatever money I could instead of hiding it around my room. I'm going to get interest. Then, it's going to be summer and before you know it I'm going to take driver's ed and I'll figure out getting a car and insurance.

Please, God. I need help. I can't stay here anymore. Make them get in a car accident. Make her get cancer. I don't care. Get me out of here. Please.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come; thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary Mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death, Amen.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.


Get me out.