Cant sleep

This is really bothering me. . . everywhere I look, there's seriously nothing about moms. If you google "I want a mom" or "mother son relationship" (I know, I have no life) all that comes up is a few websites about the problems. . then there are all these stereotypes about having to "deal with a teenager". . . and if it's not that, it's old ladies talking about baking cookies and the war. Dude. . seriously? What happened to the fun mom with the nice house and the minivan who actually cares about her kids, is friends with them, is cool, and also gives them guidance. . but most of all, gives them unconditional love? Maybe they're just too busy to post anything on the internet. . haha

If I had a good mom. . . wow. I'd tell her everything. . and she'd listen. She wouldn't scream at me or terrorize me or subtly try to make me feel like shit. We'd go to the mall. . go shopping. . get food. . go places. She'd call me honey and sweetie. . and she'd say I love you. She'd let me be in sports, and she'd be in the sidelines cheering me on. I'd hug her every day before school. . and occasionally kiss her. . if I was in a REALLY good mood. Dude. . I'd be such a mama's boy. . and I'd be happy to be.

What happened to those kindsa moms? I know they're out there cause I have friends whose moms are like that. . like I know it's never gonna be perfect, but it can come pretty freakin close.

Hahaha I remember one time I googled, "Chat rooms for moms" and I finally found one but I got kicked out cause they found out I wasn't a mom - just someone who was lost who wanted one. Lol. . .

I think I found a mom from youtube. . . I havent signed on in forever. .

Ughh. . I can't wait till the day when my real mom, whoever she is. . is in front of me, in person. So tired of computers. . whatever. . I'll figure it out.

I think I just need unconditional love. I was gonna write a poem but now I actually am sleepy. . haha. There's always dreams. . . maybe an angel will come tonight.