They're out right now, and I just did two loads of laundry and babysat without telling them because I don't want them to know I just made 20 dollars. I heard a car door close outside before (it was the neighbor's) and I panicked. I'm so fuckin sick of being scared of them and what they'll do to me. I'm fuckin sick of shutting down whenever someone screams at me, and making up stories.
I feel depressed, tired, helpless, hopeless, and pathetic. I'm in a cage. I need to be held. I want to run away. I want to take their car, and run away right now. I could be halfway across new york by the time they get home.
I have to go. . they'll be home in a couple hours. I don't need to run away. . I'm going to be okay. I'm gonna be okay. Everything'll be okay. I'll be safe.
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